Here's a picture of my second knee surgery. It wasn't as traumatic (or big and blown out) as the first knee surgery but you get the picture.
This was the summer of my roboleg... the second surgery to repair my ACL and remove some hardware from my LCL and first surgery (like a screw and button or something of the sort... I'm not quite sure what's left in there now).
Both surgeries had an extreme impact on my life for many reasons. The main two being that it showed me 1) to always put others before myself and 2) to not always depend on myself.
Before my first surgery I didn't really consider myself the type of person that really, truly and genuinely had a heart for others. I know that sounds terrible... awful, in fact. I feel like I was a very self-absorbed junior in college... only caring for myself and not paying attention to the needs of others.
The injury to my ACL/LCL came from playing college soccer. I didn't realize how serious an injury I had until they sent me home post-surgery and my right leg weighed at least 25 lbs heavier. Along with the extra weight to crutch around, they also left my wound open with a pain pump inserted so that whenever my knee began to throb I could just squeeze the pump and automatically numbing medicine would filter through.
My mom came and lived with me for that first of six very painful weeks. At the time, my roomates and I lived in a townhome where all the bedrooms were on the second floor so this made getting up and down stairs entirely difficult. I remember sleeping on the couch all week and passing out cold (literally) in the middle of the hallway crashing to the floor. I was so medicated and out of it that I couldn't even bathe myself. Nothing will humble you more than being a 21 year old college student and having your mom bathe you because you can't do it yourself. I was a sick, depressed mess and cried big bad bawling tears whenever my mom left because I had no clue how I was going to be able to do anything on my own.
This surgery rocked my world. Up till then, I had been so independent. During this time I couldn't drive for at least six weeks so I had to ask friends to pick me up for classes and take me to rehab, which was all the way on the other side of town. Mind you, I was always the person hauling my friends around and driving places. I hated having to call and ask for things... for anyone to do anything for me... but I had no choice.
Out of extreme love, so many friends came out of the woodwork to help me with whatever I needed. I saw an amazing expression of friendship and kindness. In having all those deep thoughts that one can ever have while exercising out scar tissue on the CPM machine, I thought about the friendships and people I had come to know and felt as if my heart had grown three sizes, just like the Grinch's on Christmas day.
Because of this surgery, I feel like I care more - point blank. I care more because people cared for me. They showed me that putting others before themselves was more important. It helped me see that no matter how independent I try to be, I have to ask for help sometimes.
SIGNED: SCARS OF THANKS
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