STORY ONE | “I’m An Asshole”
Twice times this weekend Casey and I were mistaken for twenty-two year olds (not a bad thing, but then what happens is that we attract immatures such as this one…
Thursday night a young lad by the name of Ben decided to sit down porchside with us at Uptown Bar… mind you, we had just seen Sex In The City and simply wanted to enjoy a drink with eachother (no annoying, buzzed boys). In my mind I concluded that Ben was trying to lay his mack down on us, nonchalantly, of course. We were tolerating him… and then he throws this line out there, “Oh yeah… and I’m an asshole”. Really, did he just say that? Me and Caso exchanged “WTF” looks… and simultaneously no doubt thought, ‘please finish your warm beer and g-o a-w-a-y’! Apparently Ben isn’t the most suave and someone needs to quickly inform him that honesty isn’t always the best policy (at least in his case).
STORY TWO | “Death To My DVD Player, Part III”
I am now on my third DVD player. The first one bit the dust a while back… which led to DVD player #2. Last week DVD player #2 ate Seinfeld Season 7. Having rented the video I knew that if I didn’t get that DVD out I’d be paying beaucoups of fines to the Coppell Public Library- (yes, I check out more than just books from the library, don’t knock it). So the dang DVD player wouldn’t Eject or even POWER ON… And soon enough Seinfeld Season 7 became a week overdue.
Then a few nights ago, I took the damage over to the parents. My Dad took the thing apart and finally I made the return and paid a whoppin' $3 (ha!). The parents then hooked me up with DVD player #3 since DVD player #2 did NOT make it through the night. They then wished me well on my DVD player journey as I have a tendency to kill pretty much all DVD players that I encounter.
STORY THREE | “Please Tell Me He Was Wasted”
Friday Casey and I had to get some cash money out of the downtown Bank of America before heading to the Farmers Market. As we pull up we notice someone has left their debit card in the ATM… IN THE MIDST OF A TRANSACTION! Once again, me and Caso exchange “WTF” looks… It was only 11am, they couldn’t have already been wasted could they?… maybe old and forgetful?… high?! As the good gals that we are, we ended the crazy random’s transaction, sealed his ATM card into a deposit envelope and dropped it off into a slot on the side of the bank feeling a little smiley for our good deed of the day.
SIGNED: I'VE BEEN PLAYING THIS SONG ON REPEAT (by Head Like A Kite)
2 comments:
I like the "oh I'm an asshole" story. It reminds me of an 80s movie I once saw of a shy guy who was told that girls like assholes and to be mean and such. He was, some of the high school girls noticed him more but he hurt everyone. It was sad. In the end he made a speech and asked for forgiveness. He got it and I learned a lesson. Perhaps this boy will learn.
HI!
ha! something is seriously wrong with the boys we've encountered recently.
(fyi... i met mr. no balls at your pool!)
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