ON THE SWING.

So strange. I wrote this bit yesterday... saved it, not ready to officially post it. Then we had group with the girls last night... and of all things studied patience. Driving home a beautiful lightening storm lit up the skyline... I wouldn't have taken it in as much as I did - But somehow or another I got stuck at the same stoplight for three red lights in a row (patience, right... God is so humorous).

Last night's storm came and went. But during it He stirred what was left unfinished in my heart. So here is the completed bit...


A few things
Have been on my mind
Regarding poor decisions
And falling back
Into the same sin
In which God
Graciously delivered me from
More than a year and a half ago.

It’s all coming
At such a bad time.
But then
They never come
At a right time either.
It probably would be best
If they didn’t come
At all.

Bad timing
Because God seems to be
Opening doors
In my life
And blessing me
So sweetly.

At a time
When I know what
I should be doing
And don’t.
I know this,
I know that-
But then
I continue
Down such a self-destructive path-
Awake to the fact
That my actions are
Wrong
And yield absolutely
Nothing.

No joy-
No happiness…
But I continue.
Until the storm comes
And I’m found
On my knees
Staring into the night
Through clouded eyes
Unable to comprehend
How he still loves me-
When I rock
Close and near
Far and apart…
I swing freely
Yet He remains
Constant.

Why does God continues to bless me
When it seems like
All I do is stumble around
With careless
Misplaced steps.

In a time of disobedience
I am at a loss
Why he continually
Is still
So good to me
Even when
I don’t honor him
In my decision-making.

I feel as if
Good things
Should not happen.
Not to me-
I don’t deserve them.
Not now.

Can’t He find me
During a time
When I’ve been better-
No.
He’s here now.

And as always
His love is evident…
Stirring my soul,
Holding my hand,
Rubbing the sleepy rubbish
Out of my eyes and
Guiding me
Slowly
Back to Him.


SIGNED: COMFORTED BY HIS PATIENCE KNOWING THAT HE DOESN'T GIVE UP.