TO ATX WE GO

12 of my friends and I are roadtripping it from Dallas to Austin this weekend to float the river AND a few more friends are meeting us there. It seems all in all, upon arrival its going to be six girls and a possible 10 guys. Eek!... Do you want to be part of this action packed 4th of July adventure?! Oh yes you do!

In the 65 thread Facebook message between the 12 of us… there are a few options for how we plan to travel.

First we have the little yellow short bus.


Thank you Ryan for suggesting this unbelievable amazing option! Airconditionless and with a max speed of 40mph, I am positive we’ll get there in a short 5 hours. Since there will be an abundance of room, rest assured absolutely no one will have to sit on the crusty bus floor. However, as the TX heat is getting hotter and hotter, people (ahem, boys) may begin to sweat (use the Old Spice already!). No one enjoys sitting next to a sticky bus passenger (especially on “schoolbus leather”), so I officially designate Ryan to be the first to sit on the bus crust floor (since he presented the option). He will then trade off with Conway, as Conway will probably need a time-out by this part in the trip... as the wheels on the short bus go “round and round”.

Second option is the 10-person tandem bike.


Thank you Matt M. for suggesting this unbelievably grueling and disgusting option. Did I say there were only four girls on this trip? Why yes. And only four that will be traveling down with you boys. One thought: 8 boys in spandex? What are you thinking?! The girls will take it upon themselves to hire two more guys to peddle the empty seats and we'll take the car. Then if you want to… you guys can peddle your little hearts out all the way down I35. Believe me… you will not get honked at, whistled at, thrown stuff at, taken pictures of, run off the road… Nooo, this will absolutely not look gay at all.

As we already know, Conway is completely jazzed about the thought of wearing spandex. As mentioned earlier this morning, ” Tick tock tick tock! Austin tomorrow morning! I got my biker shorts ready for the 250 mile trip! Spandex baby! Sexy lunges...”

Third option is warp zone.

Thank you Nintendo and Mario for giving us hope to believe this is possible… if only it were.

Fourth option is by use of the transporter.

Thank you Star Trek for giving us hope to believe this is possible… if only it were. Beam me to ATX, Scotty!

Fifth and final option is by cars.

Thanks in advance to all who are driving (Trynh, Alecia, whomever else/TBA). We promise to wear our seatbelts, not give wet willys, not press any ham against the window or make obscene gestures to the other cars driving by, give you mega compliments and pats on the back as you speed us there, feed you CornNuts and beef jerky so your hands can remain on the steering wheel at all times, read you bits and pieces out of our Cosmo, Glamour and US Weeklys, sing wonderful roadtripping songs like “10,000 bottles of beer on the wall”, not paint our nails or yell at you when our bladders are about to explode and need to exit immediately, save blowing up Conway’s blow-up dolls until we reach the hotel… and finally we promise to rock the car all the way to Austin!

SIGNED: ARE WE THERE YET?!!